In One Year...

...everything changes. i remember being younger and thinking a whole year until my next birthday seemed like FOREVER. but now that i've lived for 20 birthdays i feel like the years are just flying by. all of a sudden i have all these responsibilities. and as i stand in the shower i think back on my 20th year of life that got me to this point...and how things at this point last year were completely different than how they are now.

i've loved and lost.

i've said goodbye to a dear uncle.

i've traveled to another country.

i've grown as a spiritual leader.

i've changed my style...10 times...

i've changed the music on my itunes.

i've declared a major and minor.

i've decided on a university.

i've made up my mind on life choices.

(like marriage isn't for anyone, and is it for me?)

now as i read through that list..a lot of that is adultish things to do. when did i become a real adult? changes have been made but its taken a year to make some of them. so its natural when a change is thrusted upon me that i freak out a bit right? i need time to think it over and pray with God. so don't be mad when i say i'm just not ready.

driving home today my friend and i were discussing how we don't quite like America. so we're going to live in Europe. and then again in the shower today i was thinking about how amazing it would be to live somewhere else for an entire year. think of all that can change in another country in a year for me. thats the thought i will fall asleep to tonight. i'm not ready to quite be grown up but i am ready for small changes to start happening.

like saving money.

living in a dorm.

relieving my parents of some bills.

having a decided opinion.

continue to grow in God's word.

all these things i can do because they are the stepping stones to bigger things that i will gradually get to. like a staircase. eventually i will get to the top. its just one step at a time.

so where will i be in a year from now? who knows. but for today i know i can start dreaming of the possibilities.

the world is at my fingertips.

i just have to grab hold of it.

<3